The Art of Being Alone

Being single is weird. One minute you're going to the cinema alone, feeling independent af, the next you're hungover in bed on a Sunday texting that fuckboy you know you shouldn't cause you're feeling needy and could do with a spoon. It's a constant mix of enjoying being out with your friends, sipping cocktails and feeling carefree, going on tinder dates, proclaiming how much you hate men and then wishing that boy you like would text you back. And though I definitely go through cycles of loving my own company and then wanting all the attention, one thing I know for sure is that I am slowly mastering the art of being alone.

Take last month for example. Though I've happily sat in a restaurant eating a meal by myself, I've always found the idea of going to the cinema alone a slightly strange one. Why though? Ultimately, the cinema is not a social activity. Lord knows if my friends tried to talk to me during a film I'd just paid an arm and a leg for they'd be getting a serious dirty look. You're quite literally sitting in silence and watching a film, just as you would home alone in bed. So why do we feel like this is an activity that needs to be done with others? In short, it's not. That's not to say it wasn't nerve wracking walking to the cinema by myself and asking for a single ticket, I felt like everyone was watching me. Who's this girl with no friends? Has she been stood up? But you soon start to realise that it's all in your head. The truth of the matter is, non one cares that you're there alone. They're all too busy watching the film themselves. And you know what, I had a great time. The next day, I traveled to London alone, dined alone, went to an event alone and even sat in a bar drinking cocktail after cocktail, you guessed it, alone.

Being alone does not equal lonely. Being single does not mean desperately searching for Mr Right. For me, it's important that I am happy and comfortable with myself before I can be happy with someone else. Phrases like "well, it always happens when you least expect it" or "it'll come when you stop looking" are all too common place. I'm not looking for the one. I'm not sure if I'm ready for the one. And guess what? It is possible to be happy and single. You can also be happily single and still dating. Dating does not imply you're desperate to find a boyfriend or even looking to find one. If you are, that's fine. But for me, its about having fun. It's nice to meet new people, to go out and enjoy a good meal, a bit of bowling or a film. It's equally as nice to enjoy no strings attached sex with someone you fancy. And if it develops into anything more, then happy days. If not, you had a bit of fun alone the way and (hopefully) no one got hurt in the process. The idea that women can't enjoy casual sex and no strings attached relationships without getting "attached" or "catching feelings" is still a foreign one to me. Just because I like attention and it annoys me when a guy ghosts me, doesn't mean I want to be with them. It just means I'm human. I also just appreciate someone being honest about their intentions. (But I'll be talking more about this in another post).

I guess what I'm trying to say with all this rambling is to be alone for a while. Enjoy your own company, learn about yourself, focus on your dreams, ambitions, friends and family. Go out, get drunk, date different people, sleep around, be a bootycall, bootycall someone else, Netflix and chill to your hearts content, do whatever makes you happy. Don't settle for some half ass idiot who doesn't appreciate you and won't text you back for hours at a time just because you're afraid to be alone. And then, when you are ready to get into something serious, it will be a welcome addition to an already full and happy life. And seriously, go to the cinema or for a meal by yourself. It's one of the best things you'll ever do. 

1 comment

  1. I am actually a little bit in love with this post; I like being single, and I like dating - doesn't mean I'm desperate to find 'the one'! Although, if there was someone who comes along that I really liked I'd give it a go... But until then, I'm perfectly happy on my own, doing my own thing :)